DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES
As a parent, your approach to your child is as unique as you are. You can’t just wake up one day and be a different person because you read a book or watched a devilishly effective mother on the playground. Parenting isn’t only a collection of skills, rules, and tricks of the trade. It's who you are, what your family culture is, and how you transmit the most personal aspects of your values to your child.But here are the facts: nearly 50 years of research have found that some parenting styles are more effective than others and show far better outcomes for children. There are four major parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, authoritative, and hands-off. Most parents don't fall conveniently into a single type; instead, we tend to be a combination of several styles. The trick is to be flexible enough so that you make adjustments to your basic type — adapting your style by adopting some best practices from other parenting styles as well.
1) Take the following parenting test to see what type of parenting style you have.
Parenting Test
2) Blog about what parenting style you are and if it's similar to the parenting style you were raised with or not. Tell us one positive thing your parents did that was instrumental in developing you into the person you are today.
3) Read the following New York Times article on which parenting style tends to lead to more successful and happy adults. Raising Successful Children
I am authoritative parenting. I to was raised like this by my dad, but my mom was more of the permissive one. Taught me not to put up with people and their sneaky ways and to be honest.
ReplyDeleteMy parenting styles are...
ReplyDelete1st: Authoritative (5)
2nd: Authoritarian (1.6)
3rd: Permissive (1.25)
I don't know if it was the same. I think my parents are opposites at times (between authoritative, authoritarian and permissive), and my grandmother also was very involved in raising my sisters and I and she was defintely a balance of all these...so perhaps they all balanced each other out into authoritative. However, between my sisters and I we all have different parenting styles as well. I know I have changed a lot. A LOT! I think in the past I would have been more between Authoritative and Authoritarian. I am GLAD I am NOT! :) I think my parents have different strengths. My mother is very driven, self-motivated and less emotional. My father is merciful, philosophical, imaginative, an explainer and emotional, but he was a bit authoritarian at times. My grandmother: set rules, but provided us a loving affection. So I think everything they have done has been instrumental in developing a bit of me. And, I have a unique temperament that has changed a lot as my relationship has grown with God.
Well, perhaps not my temperament, since they say that is innate...but I do think I have become more self-aware and changed some of my personality.
DeleteWhoa...I just finished reading the article! A lot of good things to keep in mind. Parenting itself has a huge learning curve!
DeleteI myself am not a parent but I had my mom take the test and she is mostly Permissive/ Authoritarian and I think that is what I will end up being as a parent as well. One positive thing I remember my mom doing for me as a child was she always provided me with the things I needed above and beyond, and didn't over control me with rules and guidelines. I think that if a parent is too controlling then the child is more likely to rebel and do "bad" things, it takes a certain amount of trust in the job you have done teaching your child what is right or wrong to be a good parent as the child gets older I think.
ReplyDeleteI would definitely agree that my parenting style is authoritative and believe it is a good parenting style for most children. I would have to say I grew up in an authoritative home as well. My mom and dad trusted us to do the right thing with a clear understanding of consequences if we did not. It gave me an opportunity to "think for myself" whether I was out with friends or at home. It wasn't until having children of my own that I really appreciated the value of having parents who were consistent. The most valuable lesson my parents taught me would have to be to respect authority. I know there have been times in my life where being respectful and considerate towards others has given me the "upper hand". It's a trait I endeavor to pass on to my children.
ReplyDeleteI was the Authoritative parenting style and it was similar to how my parents were. My parents tried to explain why they wanted me to do something rather than just demand it.
ReplyDeleteI seemed to be more Authoritative, while I do wish to keep the power in my position I want to make sure they grow to be able to express their feelings without walking all over me. The way my parents raised me was Authoritarian while it was good when I was younger it didn't work so well when I was in my teens.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a parent so when taking this parenting test, I answered in the position of how I think I would have been as a parent. The results were authoritative, authoritarian and a low permissive score. I reflect on my parents teachings and watching my friends parenting skills or lack of...my parents were rather strict and my older sister and I did get spanked. My little sister who is 15 yrs younger, did not so there you can see how my parents had changed in their parenting skills. We grew up in a very loving home where affection was expressed and felt. Of course, there are things that I wouldn't have done with my children as far as being too strict, however, the foundation that my parents instilled in me would have been carried on to my children.
ReplyDeleteI am not a parent either but I kept in mind how I would want to be, which was authoritative. I think that my parents where more authoritarian while I was growing up but the day i turned 18 they became hands-off and to me that was a good thing because I felt like I finally had my own life and I could come back and get advice when I needed it. I'm glad things change because I feel like I can learn more and have a better relationship with my parents now then when I was a child.
ReplyDeleteMy main parenting style was authoritative. This is not really the parenting style I was raised with. My parents drank a lot when I was younger and were very violent with one another. I think because of this I have always shied away from violence of any sort. The best thing they did was send me to live with my grandparents when I was quite young. I wasn't there long, but I saw a different life. Eventually, they got sober and my brothers came along, but there was never really any conversation about much of anything. I don't think they had any sort of parenting style. Like most of us, they were figuring out as they went along. I wouldn't trade it... all of these experiences shaped who I am. Love!
ReplyDeleteI'm more of an authoritative type. My mother and family was very controlling growing up and didn't allow much input from the children. I try to do things differently and really put my childs views and opinions into my plan making and decision making. I try not to "spoil her" exactly but I know I spoil her somewhat since she is my little princess after all.
ReplyDeleteAuthoritative without a doubt, even prior to taking the test I knew what to expect. I am not hard on my son although I have expectations and will not hesitate to discipline him if need be. My mom was the same way with me and I grew up in a military household, luckily it was not an extremist household. I have seen first hand what spoiled kids are like and I refuse to turn my son into that.
ReplyDeleteI am not a parent however my mother's parenting style is authoritarian without a doubt. As I've grown into my individuality my mom and I have had problems because I don't share the same beliefs as she does. In my house there is only one right way and it's hers. Growing up I remember asking questions especially about our Catholic religion, the only answer I was ever really given was "because it's what's right" "because it's what we believe", my mom constantly reminds me of my "place" and how her's is superior. I think the authoritarian parenting style definitely leads to rebellion and I hope to break the long line of authoritarian parenting style in my family one day.
ReplyDeleteI am not a parent but I took the test as if i did have a child and my main parenting style was authoritative. I was raised by my mother and she ruled with authoritative paarenting style. I love the way that she was a strong woman but i look back and i wish it could have been easier to talk to her.
ReplyDelete