Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Excuuuuse Me! Blog #2 Due Thursday, June 18th before class
While most human beings will engage in making some excuses in their lives, the common Ben Franklin saying “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else,” may be more of a self-fulfilling prophecy for excuse-makers than simply avoidance or laziness. Whether excuses are used to shift blame or improve what other people think, it may be easier for excuse-makers to live with excuses than think about living with having tried at something and failed.
We know that nonverbal communication is more trusted than verbal communication. Share with us a time when someone has given you an excuse that you know was a lie based on their nonverbal communication. How did you know that it wasn't the truth? What verbal/nonverbal cues were there? How did it affect your perception of that person?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Well, this is a little personal but... Once when asking a girl for her number she leaned over and very quietly said she was gay. She kinda looked around and leaned foward with her shoulders foward as well. It was clearly a lie (lol) and a gave her my number and never got a text... shot down! haha
ReplyDeleteI remember a time when me and my partner had called a store for a hat that we had been looking for all over, the guy who answered said o yea we have it.We got his name just in case we got there and for some reason they didn't we would be able to say who told us they did. So as we walk in the store we go to the guy who told us yes and said hey we just call about the hat he stood there and look at us and said we don't have that hate we both got mad and were like you told us you did he started to get real nervous and was like I didn't answer the phone. We walk out mad and ever since never went back not only that but that store is one of the worst and was not the first time that we had issues there.
ReplyDeleteI always buy myself Oreos which happen to be my moms favorite cookie. So one day I came home from school and looked in the pantry expecting my Oreos(there were 2 or 3 when I left the house) to still be there. But instead I was greeted with an empty box so I asked my mom if she ate them and she replied in a panic "NO!... It was the dog."
ReplyDeleteI knew she was lying because she didn't look up at me at all during the conversation, paused before making up a totally lame excuse, and well clearly the dogs weren't going to eat them and she was the only one else in the house.
My family and I were hosting a graduation party for our son. Someone very close to the family (or so I thought) did not show. They sent their spouse to come alone. When we questioned why they came alone the immediate response was "weeellll" followed by a big grin and the statement "our daughter came to town". I knew there was more to the story because although their daughter had just arrived, she was expected and they both were planning to be there anyway, also the lack of eye contact and slow response made me believe something was being hidden. At that point in time I realized maybe they were not as trustworthy as I thought.
ReplyDeleteIn my last job as supervisor, I had a couple of ladies that were very bright and very fast in learning policies and procedures. Some were quick to flaunt it too. I could depend on them very much, however when they tried to pull a fast on me, they would forget how they had already shown me their intelligence and didn't realize their "weak" excuse would actually reveal the truth. Their facial expressions and slow to speak would go along with it. I don't think they ever realized that their own intelligence would call them out and fail them at times. I also remember one of these young ladies had gone out of town and when she called to tell me that they stayed for the birth of her cousin's baby, it was very hard to believe her because it really sounded like she was in her car. Once a person deceives you, it is really hard to not question them.
ReplyDeleteOne time in high school I had heard rumors that my boyfriend at the time was at a party on a night that he told me he was spending with his family. I remember calmly asking him on campus if he had gone to the party, his eyes became wide, his voice was higher when he said "no! I told you I was with my mom!", then before I could even say anything he stopped one of his friends passing by and said "bro I wasn't at that party on friday right, right bro?!". He used his hands more than usual, and included a ton of unnecessary details to make up for the lie like what time he supposedly went to dinner, where, etc. I knew he was lying when he explained because I could barely get a word in without him continuing with details, needless to say I'm happily single.. lol
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't remember a specific situation. I have experienced enough excuses and lying that it seems that I just have to be more prepared (myself) for how to respond based on what people say. And I certainly won't just point the finger without admitting that I know I have done my share of lying or excuse making in the past. It seems that everyone always has some "excuse" for making an excuse. I have found that a lot of the time, the root tends to be some form of fear, for whatever reason, outside of just flat out lying or laziness. I have to remember though that everyone is different and what I consider lazy, others may genuinely not. I have also noticed that not all non-verbal communication can be trusted when I am suspicious of excuses or lying. For example, someone telling the truth inspite of fear, may seem to be lying, but is just "hesitant" in their confession. I am trying really hard to not respond, react or conclude on presumptions. There is a Psalm 19:13,14 that says, "Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strenth and my Redeemer." Realization of presumptions tend to make me feel bad, I was just wrong. With all that said, I do tend to be on guard for excuse making...some reasons are legitimate and valid, which is why I don't want to respond on presumption...but once I hear certain "bad" excuses, unless I have a specific role or relationship with the individual in which I can speak up and reason with their way of thinking, I will just accept what they say and probably begin to form some sort of perception regarding the person's ethic or integrity. Not necessarily bad, just different from me.
ReplyDeleteA couple of semesters back I was chosen to be the singer for the Alamo Jazz All-Stars Mentorship (A-JAM) program. We were lucky enough to be invited to perform on the local FOX affiliates morning program,and I was quite excited and nervous. My bf works nights, but had planned to go with me and sit in the audience that morning. The night before the show, he told me he wouldn't be able to go because he was going to have to work. Since he works as security/maintenance in the building we live in, and no one had called or come down and asked, I was suspicious. The following morning as I was getting ready to leave, he got up, got dressed and left. A few minutes later I heard the door to the boiler room (right behind our room) open and shut. I went around the corner, but did not see him. He was hiding in the boiler room so he could stay home and sleep in. When I got home he seemed uneasy, then he told me he watched the performance and it was good. I was crushed that he didn't show up for me and couldn't understand why, but I let it go. I understand sometimes people are uncomfortable around people they don't know and high pressure situations... but it left me feeling that he doesn't really support me fully. I accept him for who he is no matter what, and I see him grow as a person every day as do I. He was certainly harder on himself for that than I could ever be, and I forgave him a long time ago. Love!
ReplyDeleteI had started talking to this guy when I was in my late teens and found out some information about him before, the guy was pretty cool I think maybe I could've dealt with it, but now that I think about it I'm glad that I didn't. We would talk over the phone and while I'd beat around the bush about it but not directly bring it up, he'd quickly try and change the subject or give me a few out of place pauses and make excuses for why he was so quiet. I think he tried to find the right place and time to tell me but I just wasn't letting him haha.
ReplyDeleteJust the other day I went to the bank to cash a payroll check like I do all the time, but since it was close to closing time at the bank, this lady didn't want to do the work of cashing the check. I was there for about 45mins listening to all the reasons that she couldn't do it, it was like all she wanted to do was tell me no, like giving excuses was easier than just cashing the check. I knew she was lying because when I asked to speak with someone else she became really persistent that I cant, even telling the other tellers right in front of me that no matter what I couldn't get this check cashed that day. I knew she was lying because when I put my hands on my hips in power pose she completely gave in to an inferior position, even her voice changed, and her attitude went from NO I cant cash this check to Sorry, I already told every one else in here I'm not going to. Instead of wasting anymore time there I left and went back the next day. A different teller was working and she cashed my check within the first 2mins of me being there with no problems at all, just like normal. I told her about the terrible experience I had had the day before, and now, as of yesterday I don't bank with IBC anymore. I felt liberated
ReplyDeleteI deal with lies a lot at work, in order to rent a car with a debit card, there are a few qualifying prerequisites you need to meet. Simple enough but people just don't seem to get it. The most common one we get is when they bring in a utility bill, and it has a past due balance. Let the lies commence! Aside from the verbal, we usually get avoidance of eye contact, sometimes they pretend not to hear me when I tell them I can't use the bill, or they will look up and act like they are thinking when we both know they don't qualify.
ReplyDelete